Sunday, February 27, 2011

Top 20 Books to ABSOLUTELY NOT BUY for Someone Based on Clothes They Wear

1.      A wedding ring and stripper heelsà The Scarlet Letter
2.      A kippahà Mein Kampf
3.      A crucifixà Lamb
4.      Gap kids à A Clockwork Orange
5.      Walmart brandà Skinny Bitch (Because it’s a book about veganism, not because people who shop at Walmart are fat. Sheesh)
6.      PradaàThe Devil Wears Prada
7.      A bathrobe and a weak mustacheà Lolita
8.      A walkerà My Horizontal Life (Chelsea Handler)
9.      An expression of intense awesomenessà Twilight
10.  An army uniformàCatch-22
11.  A power-suità Alice in Wonderland
12.  An IVà The Inferno
13.  A bright yellow sundressà The Bell Jar
14.  A scarf, boxy glasses, tight pantsàRomeo and Juliet
15.  Sports clothesà A Nicolas Sparks novel
16.  A wool ponchoàGeorge Bush’s memoir
17.  Anything by the brand Limited Tooà Ulysses
18.  Concrete bootiesàThe Godfather
19.  Adult size xxxxxsmà A Prayer for Owen Meany (if you didn't know... he's a dwarf)
20.  Anything at allàthe book by Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt

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